I made a "new" friend today. His name is Zach. We know at least 1 person in common. We "met" through this person, who happens to be my BFF. They worked together at a company that I used to work for. Interestingly enough Zach is also "friends" with someone I used to work with at the company I currently work for. I only "knew" this person through email, but we are also "friends".
Are you keeping up with this?
It's the newest game: 6-degrees of Facebook separation.
Zach is someone I could see myself actually being friends with, in REAL life.
It all started because the other night he made a comment about a comment my BFF posted regarding a line from GLEE. My BFF and I watch the same show and write back and forth. And since the Bachelor(ette) isn't on, and that train wreck of a spin-off, the Hook-up and Cry About It show is over, and Bret Michaels show is on at different times, GLEE is "our" show.
Onward.
If you watch the show you might notice that there is typically one or two really well written and delivered lines that deserve posting. This week's Honorable Quote was, "I'm everybody's secret Santa!" BFF posted it. I commented. Zach commented. But then Zach stopped posting. I thought maybe we skurred him off.
Fast forward a couple of days until NOW, when my BFF posts something and Zach and I comment at the same time. (I'm pretty certain he is stalking me at this point.) One thing leads to another and Zach and I hi-jack my BFF's page and then the next thing I know I'm getting a "friend" request from Zach. I accept.
He who dies with the most FB friends WINS! Or their Farmville crops grow or die or a cow gets stranded in their daisy crop or something.
Anywhoodles, Zach and I start emailing back and forth about our respective companies, the General Public (GP's) and Vodka. The line "push comes to bitch slap" is written by me and our friendship is solidified.
I have no idea if I will ever have the honor of meeting Zach for a vodka or a slap, but my "friend" count just went up by 1.
Here's the rub: Does he or she with the most "friends" really win? Are these people really friends? Or are they just names for the Christmas card non-list. If one of these "friends" needed me to show up for anything more than a funny line now or then, would I?
If I ran the list of people on my list I wonder who I could unfriend (now a recognized word in Webster's Dictionary, if not MicrosoftWord spell-check) and not ever have to explain my rejection to? If you ask me how many friends I have, I wouldn't hesitate: 5. One for each finger on my left hand. For the record I am right handed, which is why I said my left hand. If I count them on my left hand it leaves my right hand open for balling into a fist and punching someone in the face who hurt my friend who I counted on my left hand.
But that number isn't really a true count of friends. Friends are like concentric rings. I am at the center. Those who cluster around in the first ring are my Top 5 who's back I would have in a bar fight, even if they were the one's who started it. The next ring are friends, but not the one's who have been there in the middle of life's crisis. They aren't the ones I called when my mom was taking her last breath. They are the ones I called later. The circles expand from there. Until they become "friends of friends" or maybe just people who I have met. And the circle is the last ring on the lake that you dropped the rock into. Just a fade from the epicenter of your life.
Facebook is an awesome-horrifyingly huge waste of time and energy. It will create friendships, re-kindle friendships, wreck relationships, destroy careers and launch the NEXT BIG THING. It comes and goes in my world. I spent about 9 months, maybe longer, just being a voyeur. I read about peoples lives, jobs, families, bathroom habits, crazy comments, disappointments, victories, life decisions and didn't once comment with my keyboard. Life was simpler then.
When I post something am I disappointed when no one responds? Maybe. Maybe not. I haven't given it much thought. Until now. Does the amount of friends one has correlate to the comments one receives? Maybe. Maybe not. I wonder if anyone has does a study. I don't care enough to expend that energy doing a study on people I don't truly consider friends.
I enjoy reading about people's lives, mostly. But if FB went away tomorrow, would I be sad? Would I miss my "friends"? No. Because I know who my 5 are. They were there before FB and they will be there after FB.
I kind of hope Zach will be there after FB. He's my kinda people.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Getting over the fear: A Thank You
Today I clicked on a link to a fellow FBer's (Facebook) blog: 1. I didn't know he blogged (but then again, who doesn't these days). 2. The words he had written resonated so deeply within me I felt a vibration. He talked briefly about fear. Fear that actually paralyzes you from moving forward to be who and what you want to be.
I have been paralyzed many times in my life. Typically when I know it might actually be for the best. And then so many other times I make a rash, emotion based decision that actually ends up being a nightmare.
So I wondered, what if? What if I do take the leap and write down my thoughts and, here's the scary part, SHARE them with others? What's the worst that could happen? I become a multi-platinum singing sensation (Taylor Swift)? I lose all the people closest to me who think, "why is she sharing that?" No one notices? No one reads it? So after careful consideration and a glass of wine, I thought, "WHO CARES?"
So I'm writing it down and to quote Miss Swift, "I'm naming names." Ok, maybe they will be made up, but people will definitely recognize themselves.
I will start with myself: Call me Julz. That is what I am hoping my son's son, Jax, will call me. About him and that later.
I'm 48 and single. Not sure if I'm happy about that little fact...Either being 48 or single, but it is what it is, so I accept it. I've spent more time single than not in my life, and it's during these times I grow so much as a woman. But more about THAT later too.
I'm a mom. 2 grown, mostly, sons and an adopted daughter (more about her later as well). They are my pride. The one thing I can actually say without hesitation is, "Yeah, they turned out pretty good!" This, despite my best efforts to REALLY mess them up. I have 3 dogs that I'm a mom too as well. All females. Don't know why, except I didn't want a dog running around lifting his leg on anything that doesn't and sometimes does move.
I am a retail manager. Not what I aspired to be. But I'm good at it. Most days. I have an affinity for people. Don't necessarily like them, but can inspire and lead and all that good stuff a manager is supposed to be able to do. In interviews people will say, "I'm a people person!" and I'm thinking to myself, "No. No you aren't. You are 18 and you have NO IDEA about people." But that's my inside-my-head voice and I am learning to squelch that voice. You don't have to like people to understand them. I just understand people. I probably should have been a psychologist. Except then I would have to be compassionate and not yell, "BUCK UP SKIPPY! Whining will NOT get you where you want to be!"
I'm an avid half-reader. Meaning, I LOVE BOOKS and MAGAZINES! But....I also seem to have then attention span of a gnat and start a book or an article and then wander off. I call that really bad habit, "shiny object syndrome" (SOS, for short). With the exception that I have read all 4 of the Twilight books three times, and am starting on Twilight again. Oh and I read that companion book, something about a little twit vamp whose name I can't even remember the story was so lame.
I love to garden. I like the idea of gardening as well. I like the thought that I am passionate enough about lettuce that I could make it my life's calling. Hmmmmm.....
Oh and let's not forget music. LOVE music. All kinds. This is where most people say "except rap". I'm sorry but I think Eminem is BRILLIANT! With a CAPITAL BRILLIANT! I love classical. I love pop. I love country. I don't like jazz. Not jazz, jazz, but the kind of jazz that makes my teeth hurt.
Amusing moment!: Reading back over what I just typed, none of it, except the part about being a MOM even begins to define who I am. But I don't even know myself, so I just create lists. I like this and I like that.
And that lack of definition leads me, partially, to where I am RIGHT NOW...Sitting at my desk with a glass of wine, a Danish Butter Cookie scented candle burning, a dog curled up in a chair on my left, one at my feet, and a sense of where will this journey take me. Where do I want it to go? What do I want it to evolve into?
To start, I think it's just a place for me to spit my thoughts out onto "paper". An electronic diary of what plays out in my head and in my world.
So, to CC, who gave me the little virtual nudge I needed to start this trip.
Come along for the journey, wont you?
I have been paralyzed many times in my life. Typically when I know it might actually be for the best. And then so many other times I make a rash, emotion based decision that actually ends up being a nightmare.
So I wondered, what if? What if I do take the leap and write down my thoughts and, here's the scary part, SHARE them with others? What's the worst that could happen? I become a multi-platinum singing sensation (Taylor Swift)? I lose all the people closest to me who think, "why is she sharing that?" No one notices? No one reads it? So after careful consideration and a glass of wine, I thought, "WHO CARES?"
So I'm writing it down and to quote Miss Swift, "I'm naming names." Ok, maybe they will be made up, but people will definitely recognize themselves.
I will start with myself: Call me Julz. That is what I am hoping my son's son, Jax, will call me. About him and that later.
I'm 48 and single. Not sure if I'm happy about that little fact...Either being 48 or single, but it is what it is, so I accept it. I've spent more time single than not in my life, and it's during these times I grow so much as a woman. But more about THAT later too.
I'm a mom. 2 grown, mostly, sons and an adopted daughter (more about her later as well). They are my pride. The one thing I can actually say without hesitation is, "Yeah, they turned out pretty good!" This, despite my best efforts to REALLY mess them up. I have 3 dogs that I'm a mom too as well. All females. Don't know why, except I didn't want a dog running around lifting his leg on anything that doesn't and sometimes does move.
I am a retail manager. Not what I aspired to be. But I'm good at it. Most days. I have an affinity for people. Don't necessarily like them, but can inspire and lead and all that good stuff a manager is supposed to be able to do. In interviews people will say, "I'm a people person!" and I'm thinking to myself, "No. No you aren't. You are 18 and you have NO IDEA about people." But that's my inside-my-head voice and I am learning to squelch that voice. You don't have to like people to understand them. I just understand people. I probably should have been a psychologist. Except then I would have to be compassionate and not yell, "BUCK UP SKIPPY! Whining will NOT get you where you want to be!"
I'm an avid half-reader. Meaning, I LOVE BOOKS and MAGAZINES! But....I also seem to have then attention span of a gnat and start a book or an article and then wander off. I call that really bad habit, "shiny object syndrome" (SOS, for short). With the exception that I have read all 4 of the Twilight books three times, and am starting on Twilight again. Oh and I read that companion book, something about a little twit vamp whose name I can't even remember the story was so lame.
I love to garden. I like the idea of gardening as well. I like the thought that I am passionate enough about lettuce that I could make it my life's calling. Hmmmmm.....
Oh and let's not forget music. LOVE music. All kinds. This is where most people say "except rap". I'm sorry but I think Eminem is BRILLIANT! With a CAPITAL BRILLIANT! I love classical. I love pop. I love country. I don't like jazz. Not jazz, jazz, but the kind of jazz that makes my teeth hurt.
Amusing moment!: Reading back over what I just typed, none of it, except the part about being a MOM even begins to define who I am. But I don't even know myself, so I just create lists. I like this and I like that.
And that lack of definition leads me, partially, to where I am RIGHT NOW...Sitting at my desk with a glass of wine, a Danish Butter Cookie scented candle burning, a dog curled up in a chair on my left, one at my feet, and a sense of where will this journey take me. Where do I want it to go? What do I want it to evolve into?
To start, I think it's just a place for me to spit my thoughts out onto "paper". An electronic diary of what plays out in my head and in my world.
So, to CC, who gave me the little virtual nudge I needed to start this trip.
Come along for the journey, wont you?
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